Everyday is a struggle to keep afloat ..
I don't know how much longer I can hold it for before I break down.
Everyday I ask myself what's my purpose on Earth but I can never answer.
I never failed to question God about his reasons and purpose for the events in my life.
I don't know why God has to put me through pain over and over again.
What does he want me to learn? What does he want me to do?
God, you took my dad away, all I'm looking for is to be happy, to be free from troubles, to be happy like other people are.
Instead, what I have found myself doing, is sinking deeper into misery as the days pass..
God, I cant find inner peace in myself, I am on the edge of breaking down.
God, I hate myself, I hate my life....
God, please make me happy, or I find no reason for my existence on earth...
God, I do not fear death,can I join my dad in heaven?

left her thoughts ♥ 9:26:00 AM
I am this miserable and unhappy that I found myself owning a packet of cigarettes...
4 sticks a time, only to feel just a lil relieved..
Once I'm done, I'm back feeling miserable once again...
What's wrong with me??
Sighs.

left her thoughts ♥ 10:30:00 PM
Life was never the same when you left.
I wished that we would walk down the same path once again.
But why do I feel that we will never be the same again?
Not that my heart stopped beating for you...
Yes, I still love you all the same.
I look at our pictures everyday. Praying that some things would remain the same.
But I can only sit and wait. Because we will never be perfect again...

left her thoughts ♥ 10:40:00 PM
I am ashamed of myself.
A jack of all trades and a master of none.
I cant dance, my dancing sucks..
I can never succeed in life.

left her thoughts ♥ 1:23:00 AM
I dont wanna argue anymore.
It hurts me too.
I know I'm not perfect.
But we separated for a reason.
Our Gods are different and our future is uncertain.
You wouldn't know how much I have cried myself to sleep.
I'm doing this because it is the best for you.
My friends told me I shouldn't be selfish and to let you go.
So I am....
But I will never forget the good times we had and you truly are the best I ever had.
Someone whom I know would risk his life for me.
You had everything. You were my everything.
But I'm sorry it had to end this way.
I couldn't bring myself to tell you not love me anymore because I knew I still love you...
I am only hurting you more by holding on to you. I can't be unfair. You have to be free...free from this misery.
I'm sorry Adi.
Just so you know. I still love you. so much that it hurts.

left her thoughts ♥ 2:42:00 AM
You will never understand how painful this decision that I have made is.
Much as I may seem heartless, it can never happen...
You said it should be you I am holding on to.
I'm sorry.. I truly am.
I would love to hold on to you and never let you go...
But please know that I have never regretted the chance I had with you..
Please believe me that it is as hard for me as it is for you.
When you cry, please know that I'm crying with you...
Believe me when I say that you will always have a part of me....

left her thoughts ♥ 3:27:00 PM
I'm sorry mum, I can't get married anytime soon.
I'm not ready.
I don't have anyone in my life right now that I am committed to..
I don't even have a boyfriend!
I know you are unhappy with me for not being able to settle down soon.
If u find me a rich man who can love me for who I am... I might consider.
But for now, it's not the time...

left her thoughts ♥ 11:32:00 AM
My New aim..I am gonna get a Chanel bag next year. =)

left her thoughts ♥ 8:59:00 AM
What are words..... - Chris Medina
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
'cause what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most
What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they're torn
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone
And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most
What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they're torn
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
'cause what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most
I'm forever keeping my angel close

left her thoughts ♥ 1:39:00 PM
Yay!!! Flight tickets bought for Sydney!! $1000 for a 2 way trip on board SIA's Airbus A380 is cheap...
I'm will be flying off on the 6th of June and I will be back on the 20th.
Heading to Sydney for 2 weeks with my classmates.. Latest news is that Salim and his friends would be meeting us in Sydney and we can explore Sydney together!! woohoo!! so happyy!!!
This is soooooo exciting..

left her thoughts ♥ 4:08:00 PM
My English tutor returned our assignment and I was shocked to have received an A- for it. Honestly, I did not expect myself to get that grade. My assignment was done the night before and my write up was very short. Some of my classmates who wrote more than me had a B or C.. I feel bad that I scored for that sloppy work..
Dance competiton for Hall Olympiad Closing Ceremony is today.. We have practiced so hard every day.. We sacrificed our sleep for this.. Good Luck dancers. All the best today....

left her thoughts ♥ 10:38:00 AM
Thank God that I have lesser commitments now. Singapore Dance Delight is over. We didn't get into the finals but it's alright. It's our first competition together. I believe we will get better.
Nice photo!But I don't know why am I dancing with my tongue sticking out.. -_-'zzAND MY NEW WAKEBOARD HAS ARRIVED!!!! Presenting the 2011 Liquid Force Angel 130..
Front of the board. It has sparkles all over the surface... <3
Back of the board... i love the colours...
OMG, I love my wakeboard.. its damn pretty!! Its really an angel... =)
Thank you baby for fetching me from home to SAF Yacht Club and accompanying me to my wakeboard training... Thank you for sitting patiently in the boat and helping me out. =) You are really the best boyfriend. I love you!

left her thoughts ♥ 4:07:00 PM
Make you feel my love
When the rain is blowing in your face and the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years to make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet but I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No
There's nothing that I wouldn't do to make you feel my love
The storms are raging on the rolling sea and on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet
I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you to make you feel my love
To make you feel my love

left her thoughts ♥ 12:42:00 AM
I have been busy with school and after-school activities.
Thank Goodness that after all the hardcore dancing last year and the O School recital performance the day before my exams, I scored 1A, 3Bs and 1 C for last semester. Thank my lucky stars...
I am reunited with my love for wakeboarding. Bought a board and new bindings. Totally love the look of my board. Swingin' and funky. =) Wakeboarding yesterday was awesome, I did a one wake jump after a few tries.. AWESOME STUFF THERE...

One of my one wake jumps

My board!! Loves!!
The adrenaline rush is just amazing. It just pushes me to wanna get the tricks right. Actually, during the first set of riding, I thought I lost my skills there. Thank goodness I got it all back after some warm up. I wanna join competiion. I wanna try... I know there are many hardcore wakeboarders out there, but I love the challenge. I can do it. I can!

left her thoughts ♥ 10:58:00 PM
I am very disappointed with my dancing. My standard is getting from bad to worse. I feel very demoralized. Nevertheless, I will continue to dance... I will try to improve... =) Go Cheryl!

left her thoughts ♥ 12:26:00 AM
The inflow of money in my bank cant keep up with the outflow of money from my shopping frenzy.
I've been spending too much. I sat down and thought for awhile, and i realized, I spent 11 thousand dollars... on branded bags. What on earth is happening??
I counted, I bought 9 Louis Vuitton bag and a Louis Vuitton wallet,1 Coach tote, 1 Burberry Chester bag and 1 Burberry wallet. OMFG!
If my mum knows this, I'm so dead...
Recently, I have been eyeing this Louis Vuitton Trevi Pm bag, and I finally bought it after a few months, couldnt take it. But.. the bag is beautiful!!
I am madly in love with Louis Vuitton Bags... =)
This is really really gonna be the lastttt...

But just simply LOVEEEE Louis Vuitton's damier series.... i love it love it love it!!!

My lovely Hampstead PM
and a matching lovely Damier Koala Wallet... <3

Damier Papillon.. =)

Sold off this all-so-common Neverfull

Epi leather series

Beautiful classy Black Epi Alma bag

Pretty Yellow Epi Noe

Amazingly stunning vintage Red Epi Kapuchin bag

Sold off this Brown Epi Noe because I didnt like it anymore.

Sold off this Blue Epi speedy 25, didnt like it either..
=)
My personal indulgence.... =)
left her thoughts ♥ 8:52:00 PM
I feel jaded. Totally .
Frustration overwhelms me and I am pretty lost.
I don't really know what's going on around me.
Assignments, assignments, assignments....many 1000 words essays... group projects... tests... exams....
I feel overloaded...
H E L P.

left her thoughts ♥ 12:09:00 AM
I have been very busy with trying to adapt to my new change in life.
Work's out and school's in..
School has started and now its time to stimulate my brain juice.
Sitting in lectures (boring and interesting ones)...
I have finally settled into my NTU hall, moved all my barang barang from home.
Thanks Benson for helping me out (he carried ALL my big bags of clothes, shoes , my printer and MANY MANY other stuff)
I LOVE MY HALL!! Roomie is nice, but she doesnt stay over so
I HAVE THE WHOLE ROOM TO MYSELF!!!

left her thoughts ♥ 12:24:00 AM